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| Happy Days with Pudra.. He will always be the Best Father in the Universe |
there is one particular blogger who i always read his work, Limarkx 214 i open one of his work titled
EUTHANASIA by limarx214 (http://limarx214.blogspot.com/2013/08/euthanasia-reblog.html)
One word to describe how i feel now after reading it.. NOSTALGIC... feels like i was grab by some sort of shadow and brought me back in time when i have to endure the pain of seeing my father with the tubes that keep his heart beat... keeping him alive but soulless.. The pain of angry to GOD for why HE had chosen my father to suffer this incurable curse, when there are lots of maniac roaming in the word who doesn't even deserve to live.
Every word Mr. Limarkx mention on his blog strike back like a blade of samurai, cutting my flesh in a thin slices. Every moment on that day is like hell, when i have to watch him with my own eyes as the life drain out of my father's body. I did everything to grab his soul, I gave all my best to chase the reaper away, in some point i almost... almost sold my soul.
In all sort of gambling i lost big time in this game. I bet everything, i bet my whole chips... all in, I got 4 Aces on my hand .. the reaper got Royal Flush.. this dark hooded robe flush my father's life right into the pit of death.The reality was like a drugs that brain freeze me and my emotion. No tears no words... totally empty, totally lost.
My Father was not perfect but he is the best, he is my strength, my guardian angel, my ultimate HERO, my savior. He was the only person who believes in me when everyone around me try to knock my spirit down, He is the only one who grab my hand and help me to stand in my feet every time I stumble. He always tell me to stand, lift my head up and believed to my self, that I am worth of everything, that I m strong. He taught me to be tough, but the latter crashed down when he left.
For six consecutive months I was soulless.. six months of slapping the reality into my face, then he come back and visit me in my dreams, he have given me a reason to feel alive, that's when I got my third child and I fully restored my life the day i saw my little angel's face, a replica of my father. It may sound crazy but in a way my father tap me in my shoulder to remind me that I have a family who depend on me and who love me, and that I have not to worry if ever I stumble in this road that I am traveling, coz I have my husband next to me to help me stand and my children to give me strength on this walk of life... most specially He remind me that I am not alone.
Thanks for mentioning my blog entry - Euthanasia. Sorry for your dad, masakit talaga ang pangyayaring mamatayan ka ng mahal sa buhay lalo't iyong ama pero wala tayong magawa kundi tanggapin ito. Madali lang sabihin na lahat ng bagay may katapusan pero pag sinampal ka ng tadhana na ito na ang katapusan ng mahal mo matagal bago magsink-in ang katotohanang wala na sila.
TumugonBurahinIsa pang mas mahirap na senaryo yung nakikita mong naghihirap yung mahal mo physically and emotionally pero wala kang magawa parang lahat gusto mong sisihin, gusto mong umiyak, gusto mong madagdagan ang buhay niya kahit mabawasan pa ang mga taon ng buhay mo pero hindi ganun nakadesign ang mundo. Sa bandang huli, iyak na lang ang tangi nating magagawa.
Salamat ulit. :)
Napaka ganda naman po kasi nung blog mo, tumatagos po kasi sa puso ang lahat ng nabangit mo. Relate na relate kasi talaga ako pag usapang Ama.. mahal na mahal ko po kasi ang tatay ko kaya siguro sobrang sakit nung mawala sya.
TumugonBurahinSalamat din po muli sa pagdalaw :)